this is my 360th post.

and this is the last day of 2009. last hour, actually.

it is thus the time to rewind, take a look at life these 12 months, reflect, and say some wise words. that's alot to do, you might say. well, alright, take away the wise words part. let's just think back on 2009 and how it had been.

i'd say this year had been a good year. not smooth-sailingly good, but good because i'll remember it as the year i laughed the most, and also cried the most. it was a year of learning, of making lots of new friends, of seeing the realness of God. i had my attachment (or internship) at YOG, a really cool place where i worked with nice people and got to do things i enjoy doing most--designing things, talking and working with volunteers, having fun with my colleagues. making friends. and learning alot too, of course. i birthed Blobby, the 'face' of the CAN! fests and my good ole purple son. though it's fast losing appearance opportunities with the end of the fests and the launch of the legitimate children of YOG (the lion and the half-lion), i still hold this purple guy close to my heart. so for 6 months i worked for this place that's a 5-minute drive from my home (God's grace, entirely. people kept asking me if i walked to work. my usual response was "well, i could."). stayed till near 1am to the wrath of my mother, and enjoyed every second of it. okay, a very large percentage of it. haha.

and then, alright, i entered an attachment of a different sort. it was something that came as a surprise, and as i look back at my new year's resolution back in '07 to stay single, i sure am glad i didn't make that same resolution this year. haha! the man in question (or answer...to my mother's daily, sincere, started-years-ago-to-find-you-a-good-man prayer) is truly a gift. it has not been an easy journey, but i wouldn't trade it for another.

this year also brought a good module that i took the past sem, creative writing. i really enjoyed that module, the stories my dutch teacher told (very highly entertaining) and the challenges we got each week for our assignments. though it meant working till the wee hours every sunday night and waking early for morning class on monday, and more often than not shouting in my head "oh God help me" at 3am when i feel that my work will die a wretched death a few hours later in class, i learnt much more than i thought i would. (though i never learnt the lesson of being an overly-optimistic procrastinator.) i loved the way the teacher would make us laugh, and yet within a few moments cause such silence among us that i'd hold my breath for fear that the sound of breathing might break the trance we all were in as we stared intently at him.

this year, i had prayed for God to be real to me. and He was. in my moments of distress i'd pray and read the Bible and He'd answer right to my heart. it's comforting how, in this depraved world of millions and millions of people, He'd care to know me, and hear my cries to Him. and i cannot explain how amazing and uplifting it is to talk to Him when i can, about anything and everything, about my silliest thoughts and questions and He'd hear my whispers of fear and anxiety and deepest desires. and i'm glad He brought me friends in school who are pillars of support in faith. i am thankful for the people He let me meet, and the conversations we'd have. i am thankful.

and this year, i learnt to be alone. i took more public transport this year, and many times i did so alone. i took cabs alone (frowned upon by my mother, who, through channel 8 dramas have known cabbies to be bad people. her fears are not unfounded, but my God is bigger than bad cabbies). i went to cut my hair alone, and let the hairdresser do whatever she wanted. i ate alone, something i had issues with doing since i was younger. i shopped alone. and i rather enjoy this solitude. time to just think about nothing, and maybe talk to God. there's this sort of peace, and contrary to some urban myths or psychological interpretations, is not a sign of becoming a social outcast or hermit. i still love people, conversation and sorts. i think i'd call it a recharging of the soul.

and just to prove my point, today i came home poised for a good dinner with my family. i was hungry, and ready to eat. then i realised my sister's gone out to celebrate new year's eve and wont be home for dinner. that's alright, there're still four of us. then my dad came with his plate of rice, scooped the dishes onto his plate and headed to the room to eat with his china tv show.

right.

then my grandma came, did the same and went to the living room to eat with her taiwan drama.

nice.

just then, my mother said she was going to bathe first and that i should go ahead and eat, before making her way to the bathroom.

i stared at the food in front of me in disbelief. this is so ironic. i came home for a good dinner with my family, and i'm left to eat with sliced fish, carrots, and a box of tissue paper. and because i was hungry, i ate.

i know i just praised solitude to the skies, but friends, we need people to keep us human, you know.

so that was my last meal of 2009. but please don't feel sorry for me, i had a good day. and am looking forward to a challenging 2010. God is good, and i know that with Him walking with me, i have nothing to fear. :)

just a last useless piece of information: i hurried to do my laundry jus half an hour ago, just so nobody can say "you still have last year's laundry to do?!?!" haha. sorry, self-amusement.

goodbye, 2009! you have been good.